Is there a difference?
However, SIL #1 was comparing my son with SIL #2's children, who have been raised with the terrorizing tactics of Michael Pearl. Up until this point, SIL#1 has professed to believe that I am absolutely nuts for my non-violent approach to parenting. However, she's noticed that SIL#2's oldest child hits his little sister immediately following every switching. Go figure, huh? The thought that hitting teaches hitting - what a bizarre idea!
SIL#1 was asking me questions, and actually wanting to hear why we've come to the conclusions we have in parenting.
And I posed a question to her that really, really disturbed her. Here it is:
"When you did something wrong as a child, what if instead of spanking, your father had reached down and slowly fondled your buttocks?"
She turned about 5 shades of green, and said 'That is TOTALLY disgusting! Why would you say such a thing?'
'Why is it any different? The same hand, the same buttock - but because he caused physical pain instead of emotional pain, it's called discipline and not sexual assault.'
She didn't have a response to that, other than 'That really makes me think...'